my paper heart will bleed

i think i've realized i'm not needing to hold my breath anymore.
i don't feel like elaborating, and that's all i have to say.

where do i go from here?

i havent blogged in a while, mostly because i have nothing to say. or i do, but they're just incomplete thoughts that i forget to write down or think through. right now, i'm at work at playland, and i'm BORED. its shitting rain, yet the park still remains open because the beat has a 2 for 1 tuesday special after 3pm, yet there's still only about less than 30 people in the park. whatever thouogh, i'm getting paid to sit around on the computer (Y).


so how has summer been so far? i really wish i kept bringing around my camera with me so i could capture it then share it to the world of facebook, but i didn't and now the memories are just in my mind. for instance; burnaby mountain. we discovered a breath-taking view of the lower mainland up there, and neither of our camera phones were able to capture that, and dora's camera had died too. so, i guess you'd just have to go see it for yourself :) but i doubt it, because that place is probably only accessible by car (thanks ian), and if you bussed, you'd have to do a hell of a lot of walking. prior to that night at burnaby mountain, i also kicked joe and dora's asses at minigolf. woooot

i also have 2 other favourite places right now; alta vista park & the middle of the basketball court beside mcpherson pool. alta vista park, for all those random times; playing cards, hes just not that into you, almond m&m's, potatoe wedges with chilli & cheese, joe's next girlfriend, swings, and the 4-way see-saw, all taking place there. i remember the basketball court from last year, laying there when me and kathleen snuck out and just watched the stars.. and other people and events that day that i will not go further detail into. and last night, i sat there with melissa, and we just had a lot to talk about, in good ways of course.

but anywhos, joe, im going to miss you for the 3 weeks you'll be gone. take care!

it's taking everything in me just to forget your sweater so far

i think im sunburnt. like seriously. i never thought this day would come. IT HURTS TO ITCH MY BACK ! i'd take a picture of it if it were physically possible to take a picture of my back. today, 9-5, i was outside, in the pool, (except between 1-3), in a one piece bathing suit (sexy tanlines), taking my assistant water safety instructor course so i can be a lifeguard. $1000 spent on childhood swimming lessons NOT gone to waste. im SO looking forward to $18/hour, but thats probably not until next year. right now, i just have to worry about my soon-to-be peeling skin. oh shoot, im swimming again tomorrow. (N) oh well, last day, for now. and i can finally sleep in, besides days i have work.

All I really want in life right now:

-a yellow chevy camaro that transforms <3

-able to pogostick 50+ times

-when i die, my name on a park bench, picnic table, or water fountain(sorry joe, stole your idea)

-the ability to skateboard

-SOME POLAROID 600 FILM WOULD BE AWESOME !

-a green laptop. (okay seriously, they have turd-coloured ones but not GREEN nowadays WTF)

-to finish my lifeguarding courses asap :(

if summer's anything like the past few days or so, i think i'll be satisfied. lets not jinx it now..

NOW, would someone PLEASE use their visa/mastercard to order me some polaroid 600 film online, i'll love them for 34872983 years ! v.v. boutique $3 (Y) actually, it might not even work, but i need the film to know fsure. oh well, makes a great decoration though.

he shot me, he shot me, bang bang, straight to the heart

That would be our 'friends forever' postcard, from our wilderness adventure at stanley park. Our very first wildnerness adventure, complete with firetrucks, slides, and mcd's. An amazing, sober, kick-off to the summer.

Can you believe it? Its been exactly one year, today (Krizia's birthday), that the trend of drinking at Carleton began? Its amazing how things have changed; from chilling in a big group of the unemployed at Metro, English Bay, and Carleton,(the only 3 places we were familiar with) to jobs, anti-socialness, colder weather, and of course, the only thing constant, change.
Recently, I got told I've been anti-social for the past couple of months. Well, now that I think about it, I have been alone a lot.. I no longer feel the need to go out everyday or what not. Before there was school, work, and 30 other things to keep me busy, and now, well I don't even know how this summer is going to be like. Things are definitely going to be way different, especially with Joe going away, and Ian with a job and not seeing him everyday. I'm settings no hopes for the summer so I won't be let down.
Looking back on my grade 10 school year, it went by pretty fast, but for the wrong reasons. The beginning of the year, everything was fine, come the new year, well, things weren't so fine. I guess the year went by fast only because you're always just waiting for the next day to see how things will be different, or better, and eventually you realize things are still bad. Overall, towards the end of the year, I'm glad things were mended between the ones that mattered.

I really wanna go rollerblading, but no one has rollerblades :(
well.. time to continue with me summer reading:
the boy in the striped pajamas.

"i've never used a leaf before.."

So, I've finally decided to make one of these.. Wow. Another thing to distract me, or occupy me. This can be a good or bad thing, we'll see. Its only 1212am, and I'm already tired as I've been waking up at 7am for the past couple of weeks due to exams, work, and the course I'm taking to learn how to teach swimming lessons ! Just wonderful. So this entry I guess you could say is just a random word-vomit. Anyways, I'm off to discover more of this and how to operate it


edit: this is soo confusing!